We all know that feelings of happiness and sadness, for people who are not clinically depressed at least, are cyclical. In other words what goes up must come down and vice versa. This picture is a very good example of how this works (and pretty much how anything in life works):
I don’t know how common of an occurrence it is – but for some people, these feelings seem to coincide closely (more or less) with the seasons. For others, it may coincide with specific holidays.
Some people might have one “up” season and one “down” season every year, with the other two seasons being “neutral.” Some people might be even more unstable, having no “neutral” seasons. Other people might have “neutral” seasons most of the time.
To clarify: “Neutral” doesn’t necessarily have to mean that the person isn’t having any good or bad days. It could mean that the good or bad days are evened out. It could also mean that the person is just having “whatever” days the majority of the time.
Real life example: My story
I’ve noticed this pattern in my own life. I tend to get funky towards the end of spring – and it hits full force in June. I then “log off” for a few weeks.
I feel like most of the crappy events in my life have always started cropping up in the spring and the resulting emotional build up results in total shut down. I know… totally sounds like geek computer talk. Whatever. I wonder what comes first: the events or my perception. Or perhaps, it’s my hormonal cycle. How did the pattern start in the first place?
By verbalizing and explaining this pattern, am I reinforcing it?
Fortunately, things start picking up quickly and autumn tends to be my “up” season up until after Thanksgiving and the holidays wind down to a close. Winter and early spring are “neutral” for me. It’s not good or bad. It just is.
What does it all mean?
One possible reason why summer is my “down” season is because of the weather. Let me preface that by saying I am not exactly a hot weather person. And as you know… summer in a tropical climate is sure to be loads of fun, if you know what I mean.
A second reason why summer might be my “down” season is because I perceive summer to be the loneliest, slowest period of the year. There are lots of reasons for this, although I won’t delve into it.
For some people the loneliest time is winter, especially if they are single or don’t have a family – and they see others celebrating the holidays with their families. Additionally, the weather tends to be very dreary in some areas in the world, and that contributes as well.
The problem here is this: anticipating loneliness (imagined or not) causes us to perceive everything in a more negative light. This then acts as a domino effect until people really do shut down and stop talking to people by their own efforts.
As for you: Do you notice any seasonal mood changes in your life? Why do you think it happens?
What to do about it
If you know something is about to happen, you can either prepare for it so that:
- you can prevent it all together, or;
- you can minimize the blow of that event
When it comes to emotions, I personally believe that choice “1” is next to impossible unless you are an android or you have a willpower of steel. Additionally, there are benefits to allowing a “down” season to happen.
As for allowing the event to happen, let me first say that I believe all emotions are meant to and should be experienced. I don’t believe emotions are bad, even if they are conventionally thought of as bad. What makes them “good” or “bad,” is how the person feeling the emotions reacts. Therefore, emotions are meant to be experienced but not always acted upon (especially as a knee-jerk reaction).
Here are the three reasons why “down” seasons are a good thing.
- You learn to feel the emotions you don’t like and realize that they don’t control you.
- When emotions are experienced and not reacted upon, they become keys into your sub-consciousness. We all have an internal Socrates. He is triggered by emotions if we are aware of him. When he is triggered, he helps us question things: our beliefs, our thoughts, our actions, and our perceptions.
- Much like how nature needs to refuel itself during the winter every year, so do humans. Shutting down for short periods of time, especially if you are a self-proclaimed introvert, can do amazing things. However, extroverts can benefit from this as well.
It boils down to this: everyone needs time to clear out the excess noise and build-up gunk from their plumbing in order to function at optimal levels psychologically. Introverts definitely need longer “clearing-out” times, and at a greater frequency – perhaps because they’re more aware of this build-up gunk and/or have a lower tolerance for it.
This summer, I have seen the patterns emerging again. I wouldn’t say I felt prepared for it, as I am just recognizing the pattern this year, but I did make more effort to maintain a respectable balance of being social and of closing off. I also spent less time beating myself up over it.
Over the past two months, I streamlined my interests and contacts: I dropped most of the things I do only to focus on two or three. The streamlining process has helped a lot this time around because I am better able to focus on the activities and people that do bring my spirits up and eliminate the things that tend to stress me out a little more (even if I do enjoy them). It’s also a better alternative to allowing myself to shut down completely and give everything up – which then results in guilt and feelings of uselessness.
So… to wrap this case study up:
1) Streamline or purge: Only focus on doing the 2-3 things that are most constructive and put you in the best mood overall. Drop everything else temporarily. Also, don’t try to fill up all of your time with something “productive.” This isn’t a productive period – this is the rejuvenation period. You’re probably in your “Screw it” mode, anyway… so if you don’t feel like doing something, don’t do it. Guilt-free.
2) Support system: Keep in touch regularly with people you trust or who you can be yourself around. Actually, it can just be one person.
3) Elevate positive distractions: Some distractions can be good, like things that you have to do every day – although you typically might take them for granted. For example: cooking. We need to eat everyday, but cooking is a mindless activity for most of us. Elevate it by being more aware of it and experimenting.
4) Eliminate negative distractions: Limit contact with anyone or anything that doesn’t fall into your support system and isn’t building you up. If they don’t fall into this criterion – they probably won’t notice much if you don’t contact them for a few weeks anyway. If they are contacting you, just say that you’re ‘on break’ and that you’ll be less involved for a few weeks. Some people are “neutral” – they don’t build you up or bring you down – but they can still be a distraction.
5) Reconnect with nature: When you haven’t got anything to do, it is very tempting to stay inside and sulk about being “bored” – which just creates a fresh breeding ground for unnecessary self-criticism. Get out of the house regularly and go for a walk by yourself.
6) Have a re-entry plan: Plan a social event for when you reconnect with the world again. It could be a dinner party, a night out on the town, or something fun that you’ve always wanted to do but never had the chance. The reason for doing this is so you are not tempted to stay in a funk. You need time to rejuvenate though, so plan the event 6-8 weeks (or more, if necessary) ahead of time, at a specific date. Make sure it is something you’ll enjoy so you can look forward to it as you’re coming out of your funk. It can also help to slowly take on more activities as you feel better.
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