Chicken and tuna are the same thing, anyway.

by Valerie M

According to my sister, February is Self-Awareness month.

So that explains why this morning as we were all getting ready to leave the house, my little sister emerged from her room looking like a hobo. I say a “hobo” because my sister is someone who is very meticulous about her appearance. She had on some old ragged denim capris and a stolen white men’s undershirt. In my mind it doesn’t seem very self-aware of my sister. And you know what happens when I’m provoked: I ask questions. Any normal person would, right?

Me: Why are you dressed like that?

Sister: Because today in peer counseling I’m supposed to have everybody write positive things about me on my shirt.

Me: Oh, I see… well, what about negative things? When is that class?

Sister: (evil stare)

Me: What?! I want to know when they will talk about the negative things.

Sister: (more evil stares)

Me: Do you think I’m being stupid?

Sister: No, but I think you’re doing it on purpose.

Me: (guffaws) No, I’m serious, I really want to know. Isn’t that what self-awareness…

Sister: Have.A.Good.Day.Valerie… (storms off)

Ooo-kay.

You can probably tell that my sister has been through this line of interrogation with me many, many times before. I admit that I do read too much into things at times. I may not be a stranger to asking seemingly off-the-wall questions, but I am no Jessica Simpson (although my sister seems to think otherwise at times).

chicken-of-the-sea1

Is it chicken or is it tuna? No, really…

I digress. What good is self-awareness if you are only publicly aware of the good things? It seems to me that self-awareness is really self-acceptance. But self-awareness sounds better than self-acceptance, doesn’t it? It sounds less invasive. Make no mistake: the only reason why self-awareness month exists because too many people have low self-esteem. So it doesn’t matter what you want to call it, it’s all the same thing anyway. Just like chicken and tuna are really the same thing, in case you didn’t know.

No wonder why people can be such big, sensitive crybabies. Even I’m a big baby sometimes. How can we not be? With all the ego-stroking and hand-holding going on, everybody is completely missing the root of the problem: most of us haven’t even begun to accept our flaws. The flaws are a part of ourselves just as much as the good traits. So how can you fully be happy with yourself if you haven’t accepted the good along with the bad?

Maybe we all need to start bringing the bad traits out in the open more. And when we can see that all of us have crap about ourselves that we hate, that it isn’t just the good stuff that makes us, then the awareness and the acceptance can finally begin.

People with only positive traits are boring anyway. And suspect. So don’t be boring and don’t be suspect. Give us a reason to spy on you on Facebook and troll around in your blog when you fug up. Don’t ruin it for the rest of us, please. We promise not to ruin it for you!

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Robert October 5, 2009 at 6:05 am

Valerie,

Great post. I was expecting to actually read a post about food lol.

I don’t think self-awareness and self-acceptance are the same thing. Self-acceptance is a far more mature state of being. Most people know who they are (or maybe not) but it’s hard to accept and be yourself when there is the conventional/status quo and media and social conditioning that tries to push their agenda of perfection on to you. Most people are aware of their flaws and insecurities even if they put up a front and outwardly portray otherwise. People know who they are, but it’s hard to face the truth, it’s harder to accept things. I think this can apply to other areas of life as well:

You can be aware of your horrible financial situation but you may not necessarily accept that fact that you’re responsible and it’s you that got yourself there. You may not accept that you’re undisciplined and need to start a budget and manage your money better.

If you’re a woman, (let’s say Tocarra) I’m you may be aware that you’re a full-figured woman but in the business of modeling, it may be a hard thing to accept (though she loved herself, and I loved her as well).

Valerie M October 5, 2009 at 9:38 am

@ Robert: Hello there, and welcome!

Hehe, doesn’t that title make you hungry. ;)

You bring up a good point about self-acceptance being a mature state of being. I see self-awareness as being a prerequisite of self-acceptance (which is why I usually see them as being one and the same) However, you’re right … being self-aware doesn’t mean you’ve accepted yourself. So I get you on the Tocarra example.

I still do have a hard time believing that most people are really self-aware. Within the personal development community, yes it may be true. But we don’t really represent a large section of the world population. How many people are really looking deep into who they are and the root of their problems? And how many of them are constantly just trying to solve the symptoms? To me, the latter isn’t indicative of self-awareness or self-acceptance.

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