Happiness is often the calm before the storm. Happiness is an emotion just like depression is. We allow depression to get the best of us. I commend you on taking control of your emotions Valerie!

Great post!
Jarrod
Jarrod@ Optimistic Journey´s last blog ..It’s Okay

For me, I was wallowing in pity over what I perceived to be a huge disadvantage to me, namely my hearing loss. Because I chose to see it in a negative light, it grew into a monster that permeated everything else (sometimes completely unrelated things) in my life: I hated my social life, I hated where I lived, I hated being tired all the time, etc, etc. It got to the point where I often didn’t consciously know why I was depressed. I was aimlessly looking for ways to change my external circumstances (here, I’m looking at external circumstances as the source). But the one thing that I really wanted to change but couldn’t is my hearing loss. After years of this strategy not working, I started to turn around and say, “Hey.. maybe I need to change how I perceive my hearing loss, and everything else will follow.”

I now know from reading and experimenting that the fastest way to change your mindset is to change your physiology to take action, no matter how small. If you want to know more about that in depth, I recommend reading “Unlimited Power” by Anthony Robbins. I also recommend the free ebooklet Jeremy above did on a similar topic: http://www.jeremynoeljohnson.com/2010/03/21/unleash-your-fire-through-motion/

Long story short, though: it’s tough to get into a positive mood if you’re always slouching or feeling tense and always frowning. On the flip side, if you force yourself to relax, stand with your chin up, walk fast, exercise regularly, etc … it’s easier to snap out of it. By far, the easiest way to quickly change your physiology, whether we’re aware of it or not, is laughing. Eventually it becomes second nature: you start believing you are happy and other people do too (and gravitate towards you). Not to mention, when your social life is healthy — you’re surrounded by happy, supportive people — it serves as a domino effect because happiness begets more happiness which begets more healthy, relaxed physiology which begets more happiness and so forth.

I’ve started reading a book about what lonliness does to the human psyche, something I’ve had to contend with because hearing loss is quite isolating if you let it. I’m hoping it will give me more insight into what was going on in my mind when I was younger and spent WAY too much time to myself. I probably went off on a tangent here, once again, but I hope it answers your question.

@ Jeremy: Maybe I should hone into the metaphors a lot more, eh? I can totally relate to the deep levels of depression. And at the time I didn’t even know what it was. I just thought to myself: “So, this is it — these are the cards that life dealt me — suck it up.” In hindsight, I can admit that meeting lots of great people in undergrad, many of whom were quite funny, was one of the first steps in me taking more control of how I perceived my life.

I know in my past that I would also let my self stoop into deep levels of depression for long periods of time. The hurricane was indeed strong. Thankfully now I am constantly putting myself into state to combat any such thing happening. I love your suggestions of using laughter. Laughter really does have a cleansing process on the body.
Jeremy Johnson´s last blog ..Breaking One Million In Alexa Ranking

That was a particularly funny and elightening post! I went from imagining a hurricane as a metaphor for depression to picturing a hyena laughing in a train station (if in fact I ever did see that, I would be freaking out). I really do like your metaphor of the hurrican though and think that it fits perfectly with the concept of depression. I didn’t even have to do much squinting : )

I can also relate to how thinking of something funny, or just laughing in general, can make a depressing situation a great stress reliever and anti-depressent. It seems like, in our family, bad things always happen in waves of three. First we get a flat tire, then the transmission goes out, then we have to replace the furnace, etc., etc. However, by the third time we almost expect something to go wrong and instead of complaining about it or being upset by it, we laugh uncontrollably. Maybe its a survival trait? You know, so we don’t kill each other as a species. What ever it is, it works.