Learn to quit with confidence by asking why

There’s a lot of confusion out there about knowing when to quit. Sometimes you hear that “winners never quit.“ Other times, it’s “winners always quit.”  So which one is the correct one? I’d say both of them are. It really depends on you and the situation you’re in. I personally believe it’s important to know why your quitting. If you can figure that out, the when part will take care of itself.

What does quitting mean to you?

Quitting has a negative connotation that is rather undeserved. We have a tendency to link quitting with failure. Ironically, people give up far more than they persevere. Perhaps this is why quitting is viewed in such a negative light – because it’s so common. People are conditioned to give up easily when the going gets rough.

Trouble is, they frequently don’t know why they’re quitting except that “it’s too hard” or “it’s impossible.” It’s a puny excuse that often goes by another name: laziness. At least if they’d admit they quit because they were lazy, people might have a chance at correcting it.

Distinguishing between quitting as a mindset and an action.

Quitting can be viewed in two ways. It can be a mindset and it can be an action. People who have a quitter’s mentality and a generally negative view of the world will quit easily, pressure others to quit, and find reasons to justify it. This is a vicious cycle of self-hate. They quit before they even start.

On the other hand, you can see quitting as an action. Many success-minded people quit all the time. They decide to do something and give it their all. Sometimes, they realize the cost is much more than they wanted to pay. So they cut their losses, learn from it, and move on to the next thing. No harm, no foul.

Decide to quit and do it with confidence

If you let it, quitting can be a blessing in disguise. Quitting doesn’t have to mean failure if you gained something from it. Here are some questions to help you decide if you should quit and why:

1. Did you give it your all? Really? Remember: anything worth having usually isn’t easy to get. What you get out of something is a result of how much effort you put into it, and you probably won’t see any results for a while. If you put little effort, don’t be surprised if you don’t get much. Secondly, poor results doesn’t necessarily mean something isn’t worth achieving, especially if you’re new to the game. It either means a) you need to try harder or b) if the thought of trying harder puts you off, it just isn’t for you, specifically.
2. Do you still believe in yourself and what you’re trying to accomplish? Are you still passionate about it? Beliefs will wax and wane. Sure, you may feel all pumped up in the beginning and think it will stay that way. Just drop that thought now while you’re at it – nothing is constant and feelings are no exception. Give yourself another month or two to see if you feel more bad than good about what you’re doing. You need to get a feel for your general attitude towards what you’re doing. Another thing: passions and interests can and do change completely over the years. Don’t resist it. Move on to your next thing. 
3. Do you feel as if you’re sacrificing too much (time, money, friends, etc)? Everything has its price and you need to decide what you’re willing to pay. If you’re really into what you’re doing, you’ll be willing to give up more than someone who isn’t into it OR you’ll find a way to reduce the cost. This doesn’t mean the decision to sacrifice will be easy, it means you’ll be more sure about making it. If you’re fussing about pennies or worrying too much about short-term results, you need to step back and look into something else.
4. Is what you’re doing bringing you closer to what you want to do or where you want to be in life? Again, don’t worry about minute details – look at the grand scheme of your life. Of course nothing will go exactly as you planned. But if you have a vision, do your best to move in that general direction – even if it means quitting things that aren’t working. 
5. Are you learning something from all this? No matter what you do, there’s always something you can learn from it. I’d venture to say that the bigger the crisis, the more you can learn from it. Don’t be afraid to quit if you understand why you’re quitting. That way you can refine what you know about yourself and do better the next time around.

Only you can decide if it’s best to quit, not a bunch of clichéd sayings. Quitting is never easy, but do the best you can with the information you’ve got. And when you do, decide to quit with confidence. Don’t give yourself a reason to regret it.

Photo courtesy of Okko Pyykkö

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