Anger has such a bad reputation, doesn’t it? Everyone is trying to manage it, suppress it, or anything but actually feel it. Actually, I’d say people themselves give it a bad reputation, the way most of us handle our anger. Really though, any emotion can be used to your advantage, anger included.
Feel the pain and do it anyway
If you look at human history, you’ll notice that it’s full of a lot of angry people. Angry people who just happened to get stuff done. Caesar was angry. Napoleon was angry. The Pilgrims were angry. And Gandhi was one angry (expletive), except you can’t really tell.
Of course, Hitler was angry, too. And Kim Il Sung. And all the desperate people that elected them.
All of that leads me to believe that anger is NEUTRAL energy. In fact, all emotions are neutral energy: it’s up to us whether we decide to push that energy “positive” or “negative” channels through our attitudes and actions. The people who make it into history books are experts at effectively channeling emotional energy – especially “angry” energy – into a cause they care about. They found a reason for their anger (even if the reason isn’t quite “well done,” so to speak) – a reason that works for them.
Hitler really is the same as Gandhi. The only differences are in the causes they supported and the results they got out of channeling their energy.
Most of these people I mentioned have been through hell and back, literally and figuratively. They had a lot of emotions and disappointment and fire building up from day one. Maybe at first they tried to do what everyone else does: try to shrug it off and say “that’s life, suck it up.” But I’m pretty sure at some point, the pressure from stuffing in all that energy gave out and just before it exploded, they said “Hey, you know what? Eff it. Eff you, you, you and your mom. I’m angry and I don’t give a crap anymore. I’m gonna do me and you’re gonna shut up and listen, dag gummit!!”
“What does this have to do with me?”
What kind of question is that? Isn’t it obvious?!
Okay, I kid.
But really. It has plenty to do with you. And me. And everyone on this planet. You know, I’m all for being positive and seeing the bright side of every story and trying to make the best of every situation, good or bad. But you know what else? Sometimes, it’s not enough. Being positive and sun-shiny all the time has the potential to breed complacency.
I mean, if you’re okay with complacency, that’s cool and all. Like if everything in your life is exactly the way you want it to be. Yeah. I mean I can’t argue with that. Nobody can.
But if you’re in the 99% of the population who doesn’t fall into that category, complacency and positivity 24/7 are for the birds. Seriously. You can’t find a REAL mission if you have no reason to change. You can’t have a REAL mission – a REAL calling - if you’re not angry, passionate, or just plumb crazy enough.
And the truth is, most of us are already angry and fed-up and “sick and tired of being sick and tired.” Obviously, if we whine and complain SO much. The problem is all that “angry” energy we have boiling inside of us is completely wasted.
Every time we open our mouths to complain but do nothing, some of that energy escapes. Every time we stuff ourselves with junk food or alcohol to mask the feeling of disappointment, some of that energy escapes. Every time we blame someone else without trying to change our part of the problem, some of that energy is wasted. Every moment we spend at a job we hate trying to look like we’re working, when we’re really just watching YouTube or ranting on Facebook, some of that energy escapes.
The energy isn’t lost, however. It just becomes negative energy that spreads, infects other people in its path, and makes them negative – and act accordingly.
So, there’s a lot of energy to go around. It’s just not being utilized efficiently. Chances are you haven’t been utilizing it efficiently. Neither have I.
Finding a REAL mission and channeling your anger
Are you angry this morning? Were you angry at any time this week? Why?
Usually when we get angry at little things, like traffic jams or why someone left the toilet seat up (or down) ONCE AGAIN, it’s usually not that simple. Because we’re not really aware of why we’re getting angry, that irritability factor just keeps growing and growing until we can’t be satisfied with anything.
It’s most likely because we keep trying to suppress our anger and frustration for a major situation in our lives.
A lot of times that situation looks pretty harmless. Like your job or your school. Maybe your family gets on your nerves and gets in your way. Maybe your friends suck. But those things are normal, right? Everyone is supposed to have a job and go to school at some point of their lives. And you can’t pick your family, so you better love them anyway. Then you think maybe the problem is you. And maybe you ought to suck it up and deal with it.
Except you know it ain’t so.
The reason is because you’re a man/woman/womyn without a cause.
The “Ask-yourself-why-until-you-want-to-pull-your-hair-out-and-shoot-kittens-in-rage” strategy
You know those like those cute bright-eyed 4-year old children who just won’t be quiet? Everything is brand spanking new to them and they want to know the answers to everything their little minds can think up. Really, it’s cute except when it gets annoying. But, hey, those little kids have something going there. You can try it yourself. Ask yourself: what’s REALLY making you angry? Really. And keep asking why.
“I’m angry because of this traffic jam.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m going to be late.”
“Why?”
“Because I overslept.”
“Why?”
“Because I went to sleep too late.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want the day to end.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to wake up and do it [whatever 'it' is] all over again.”
“Why?”
And so on until you can’t ask why anymore. When you get to the bottom of it, then you know – now we’re talking. NOW we’re getting to some real reasons and NOW we’re getting to a real mission, a real purpose, a real reason. Now that you know why you’re angry, you won’t feel ashamed for being angry in the first place.
It’s true – misplaced anger does make people feel stupid and they try to hide it in stupid ways, then it blows up in their face.
You don’t have to be one of them. You also don’t need to have this huge calling like Napoleon and save the world and end up in history books in 50 languages. Then people erect statues of you all over the place and children weep and sing whenever they hear your name for the next 10 millennia … yea … no, you don’t need to do all that. You just need a reason that matters to you. I mean if you get all of that recognition for it, that’s just the icing on the cake.
But you get my point. Keep it simple. Find the cause. Throw everything you got into it. And tell everyone who objects to “go fly a kite … kick rocks … hug a tree - you’re with me or you aren’t.”
So to sum it up. Misplaced anger = bad, wasted energy. Anger with a reason and a plan = good, productive energy. Unless you’re Hitler. But even he did more than the masses.
Readers: Do you know why you’re angry? What are you doing about it?
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m with you on most of this. I do believe there is a difference between anger and righteous indignation. That said, and as you’ve laid out beautifully here, anger does have a useful purpose when channeled properly.
I guess my biggest issue with throwing all anger in one big bucket is that the source of the anger is important in my eyes and provides an ability to discriminate whether your anger is ( or even has the potential to be) constructive or not. For example, a slave owner got angry when the person he’s paid for, enslaved, and treated inhumanely runs away. No matter what he does with that anger, the source of it is so vile and misguided that his reaction never justifies his actions. That’s an extreme case, but the same can be said today of infidelity or prejudice or false accusations. If the source of the anger comes from a horrid, hateful place, the good that could come from it pales in comparison.
All that said, how one applies action to the emotion is most important. To sit on it and let it fester is harmful and unproductive. Channeling that energy is a necessary skill.
Valerie M: I definitely see your point – if I understand you correctly, you are distinguishing from intention and results. I would like to say that intentions don’t matter because we live in a world of results. It’s easy for people to say they have good intentions – but action makes the world go round (at least on the surface), no matter what people say or think.
Coming from a spiritual place, however, I can see how intentions (replace with “anger sources,” if needed) do matter and how bad intentions can really undermine good actions. The same way good intentions don’t always override bad actions. This is food for thought. Thanks for sharing this.
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It’s good to see you get angry Val – I think it suits you and gets your passionate side out there to tell it like it is with the world.
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I use pain to get more done
I’m a fan of fierce results and a common expression in software development is “coded in anger” which simply means coded a lot.
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