I think 99% of the time we spend trying to completely obliterate discrimination is a waste of effort.
The harsh truth is this: most people aren’t even thinking about you. They aren’t tracking your every move. Just like they may not always have your best interests at heart, they aren’t exactly plotting for your demise either. Just like you, people are expressing how they perceive things to be based on their experiences.
Granted, there’s always someone out there who does need to have a little bit more tact in the way they act and in the things they say. But it comes with the territory, especially when there is any degree of freedom of speech.
Before you lash out, just think about that for a moment.
Discrimination is a huge issue everywhere, but okay, what next?
One notorious example of unnecessary lashing out is with the racism issue. Before anyone jumps me, seeing how this is a sensitive issue for a lot of people, I will be the first to admit that racism still exists. But here’s the thing. It always has and it always will. Why? Plain and simple, as long as human perceptions are colored by individual experiences and exposures, there will always be racism.
Americans, especially some black Americans and Hispanics, like to point out how racism is such a huge problem in America, but this is a very limited world view. Again, racism does still happen in America, but it is by no means limited to America. Anyone who has the least amount of power (usually the minorities) in their country of residence experiences discrimination. Furthermore, every single perceived race in the world has experienced racism at some point in history. Another parallel issue is gender equality.
In my humble opinion, arguing about who has had it worse is trivial and pointless. It’s trivial because discrimination is discrimination no matter which way you cut it and it hurts. It’s pointless because wallowing in it gets you nowhere.
Are you reactive or proactive about discrimination?
The discrimination issue frustrates me to no end. Racism and discrimination aren’t the problem. It’s not something that’s going to be eliminated. Both are by-products of natural human perception that’s never going to go away completely unless we all become robots tomorrow and are programmed to think exactly the same way.
People, including those who cry racism, are going to continue to prefer people and cultures that they are familiar with or those they relate to. They may not act as malignant about it as other people, but the preference is still there. I don’t know where this notion that discrimination and racism is unnatural comes from because it’s a lie.
How people choose deal with it is the REAL problem. If that’s not the problem, then explain how some people deal with racism better than others? Why is it that some people are able to rise despite racism, or even because of it?
For example, Asians, despite the model minority stereotype, have experienced a lot of discrimination in the U.S. If you don’t know, you need to go pick up a history book. Some of them have become extremely successful. Some of them have remained poor. You can find the same examples with women and men (who, shockingly, also get discriminated against).
You’ll find successful black people and dirt poor black people. Successful Hispanics and dirt poor ones. Successful Arabics and dirt poor ones. I could go on.
Discrimination is the common denominator… so what’s different? I’ll tell you: some people are more content with pointing fingers at other people than doing anything to help themselves! Even if the other person is at fault… who cares? It has very little to do with your future because, guess what? In this day and age, only YOU are in the driver’s seat unless YOU allow other people to sit there!
What the heck does it have to do with you?
I am not trying to defend discrimination or people who intentionally and overtly discriminate. It’s one thing to stand up for yourself if someone really is out get you and a completely different thing to cry wolf every time you think you see some shadows.
As you can tell, I’m pretty much fed up with the whole gender equality and race equality debates. The intentions are good, but I feel like it’s become about a bunch of whiny folks who just sit around and watch for the slightest instance of possible discrimination… even if it’s completely unintentional. Sorry to disappoint but it’s simply not always about them.
It comes down to this: I don’t care if other people don’t like me for whatever stupid reason they have (especially if it’s a stupid reason). In this country there are too many options out there for me to deal with people who don’t like me over stupid ish.
Secondly, I don’t care if statistics says that men earn more than women (I’m a woman). And I don’t care if statistics say black people lag behind everyone else in school and that they’re more likely to end up in jail or with 10 kids out of wedlock (I’m black). Statistics don’t tell the whole truth, and frankly I don’t see what it has to do with me.
I decide what I want to earn/learn/do, move accordingly towards it, THEN it ends up in the statistics… not the other way around! PERIOD.
I want great pay? Get an education or create my own business. I want a good education? Damnit, stop watching TV, get a damn loan, some scholarships, take a free online class, something. I don’t want kids out of wedlock? Stop getting involved with stupid men and stop ditching perfectly good guys.
No one said it’s easy, but you CAN’T say there aren’t any options.
Focus on earning respect
Women in the early 1900s may have been bitching to both ends of the country about not being able to vote, but at least they did something about it. Black people in the mid-1900’s may have been bitching to hell and beyond about not getting a good education, but at least they damn near broke their necks trying to get it.
People get respect because they get up their ass and get their hands dirty to get whatever it is they want, DESPITE their circumstances. Maybe the discrimination never went away 100% but they still got a heck of a lot of respect at the time. And in my opinion, respect matters far, far more than whether someone likes me or not.
I’ve said my piece. *drops microphone and exits stage*
Readers… your thoughts, experiences? Drop a comment!
**If you’re new here and enjoyed this post, be sure to subscribe for future posts and updates. And feel free to share this post … I’d really appreciate it! Don’t forget to introduce yourself in the comments. Don’t be shy … I don’t bite. 
You can also add me on Twitter (@valeriemondesir).**
Related posts:
- "Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics"
- You are a citizen of the world (and why I don’t hate America… and why you shouldn’t either)
- Part 2: Bad boys and shoe closets aren't on my list of things to do before I'm 30.
- Black and white only exists in the crevices of the human mind
- My take on Haiti and what you can learn from Haiti’s troubles
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I loved the last part of this. I have several successful black friends who have managed to become successful business owners, and they often mention the victim mentality that plagues the black community. Some are frustrated that their grandparents fought so hard for civil rights just to watch their brothers and sisters continue to act like victims rather than to stand up as proud people like those who marched with Dr King.
Mike, those are my sentiments exactly. The ironic thing is, if you try to act like any of the leaders that are celebrated in Black History month (that is trying to build bridges with people of all walks of life, despite race), you’re basically not ‘black,’ according to some folks in the ‘black community.’ Whatever that means. But even beyond the black thing, a lot of people are limited by a mentality of ‘us vs. them.’ It’s not going to go away, but we’re just so unconscious of it.