The other night I watched Titanic for the nth time and as usual I bawled my eyes out. It’s like I get a revelation when I watch it and it comes (along with the tears) without fail every single time. So yea, last time I checked in the mirror I’m a girl … so shoot me. It’s not just about the love story between Rose and Jack. For me it’s also about life in the grand scheme, more so than the mushy parts.
Yea, so, you’re not guaranteed tomorrow
Everyone knows they could easily die tomorrow but a whole lot of us either have short term memory or we’re just in denial that we’ll ever actually die.
“Like … what? Dying? That’s for other people, right?”
Every time I watch Titanic, or watch anything where someone dies (such as the unfortunate tsunami in the Pacific a couple of weeks ago), I just think to myself what a fool I am for taking time and my life for granted. I think to myself: “What if it was me on the Titanic? Or watching a tsunami come my way?”
What’s more, the thought of my loved ones dying scare me even more than if I were to die myself. I simply cannot imagine what I would do if anyone of them were to die, even though I know it’s inevitable. Knowing that always makes me wonder if I’m doing enough with them while they’re still here. Am I showing them how much I love them? There’s just a constant feeling of guilt that follows me around about this and I’m sure a lot of other people can relate.
People look for immortality in spite of (or because of) death
A lot of people are fearful and confused about death and nearly everyone attempts to comfort themselves about it. For instance, many people turn to the idea of heaven as a way to feel immortal and to have some kind of meaning for their life. There’s got to be a reward after all this suffering, no? Even people who aren’t particularly spiritual also attempt to achieve some sort of immortality, whether it’s through their children or through their work while they’re alive.
I’d even go as far as saying that people who commit or attempt to commit suicide do so to escape a bad situation in exchange for going someplace better. If they die, they do achieve immortality living in the memories of those close to them. But I wouldn’t know for sure – I’m not suicidal.
In Titanic, the movie ends with Rose finally meeting Jack and all the other Titanic victims in heaven (or so it appears). It’s as if all these people are finally happy – something that is a common idea with most people.
The funny thing about life and death
Whenever someone dies, it’s often assumed that the person is finally at peace after all the suffering and hard work they’ve been through. And in a way it’s true, partially. When someone dies, their illusions about life and their self-imposed limitations die along with them. Death becomes something of an everlasting meditative state where one’s mind is finally clear of the constant mental chatter and free from the bounds of society. But is it as good as it’s cracked up to be?
Oddly enough, while people are vaguely aware of that, they still cling on for dear life. Don’t agree with me? Look around. How many people do you see walking the safe path, refusing to knowingly take any risk, in case something happens to them? How many people do you see working so hard to create this bubble of security around them, sacrificing the real stuff life is made of?
Take a walk in the hospitals. How many people do you see struggling to take just one more breath by any means necessary, even though they’re physically suffering? How many people do you see demanding to keep their beloved old granny who is ill with a boatload of complications and cannot possibly stay alive without life support?
I am not being sarcastic here nor am I out to insult anyone. It’s simply a great irony. We see life as a dangerous and helpless place. So we piss life away with our bad habits, with our self-sabotaging actions, and yet we’re so afraid to die (and for others to die) that we look for ways to achieve immortality.
Heaven is already on Earth
We’re basically walking around in circles with this kind of attitude towards life and death. Why? Because heaven already exists on Earth. As I’ve said before, when our loved ones die, we’re still filled with immeasurable grief despite the “comfort” of knowing they are finally at peace. When we think of the fact that we will die, we’re filled with regret of the past and grief for the future. We wonder what more can we do while we’re still alive. That’s why heaven (and even death) isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
I know I’m not going through my life, living a straight-arrow life dictated to me by some religious (or non-religious, if you will) authority in hopes of reaching some kind of perfect heaven or Nirvana and do … what? Nothing? Meet a couple of folks who died before me? Maybe spook a few people out as a ghost? If I’m lucky, incessantly sing and prance around some Supreme Being for all eternity? I’ll pass. No. Hell to the naw.
Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not denying I’m going to die. And of course, I don’t know what comes after death. Whatever happens after that point, I haven’t got a choice but to accept it. I’ll worry about my spooking and prancing skills when I cross that bridge. My point is we have the power to be in heaven right here, right now. All of this stuff about escaping worldly suffering and finally being at peace is an illusion.
All you have is right now. And if you aren’t at peace now, how the heck can you expect to be at peace anywhere else, dead or not?
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Great Post
.
First I want to share 2 video’s with you and your readers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vX1CvW38cHA (Watch 1:25 – 2:05)
And the second one..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q95kX_EP2Nk&feature=related (Watch 0:00 – 2:00)
This guy is super funny but brings up good points. I recommend you check out all his stuff.
I am writing a post related to the first point “Your not guaranteed tomorrow”. I should have it published later in the week or next week.
While it makes sense, it does not mean you won’t have a tomorrow. As well you should not use the motivation of death to live life. Then you are only living because you don’t want to die. You should live life to the fullest for the reason of your life. Death does not bring meaning to life, just value.
We will never understand death, at least with the current public science. Religion is a lot like psychics, their main purpose is to comfort people. People give away their ability to think and act in their lives and trade it it for the comfort and security of an illusion.
People are not pissing life away. Most of them have given away their power. The responsibility in their lives relies on the authorities in their lives. Their faith is the responsibility of the church leaders, their health the responsibility of the health system. (Something like the FDA or Health Canada). Their jobs are the responsibility of the CEO’s and the government.
Everything people do they are not responsible for, it’s the authorities in their lives. Why is it that they complain about the leaders as being dishonest and all the rest of it. They expect the government to fix global warming, world hunger, lower taxes, more jobs etc. When things go wrong they do what? Protest about how their leaders are not doing things right.
Obviously we know that we should be responsible for our lives and success’ but people do not want to come out of the box of comfort.
When people are faced with the idea of death, they just ignore it for that simple fact. It’s not comfortable.
As for the point you make about what will you do when you get to this heaven, I think it is flawed.
Why is it that we personify our souls as being humans who can talk, walk and eat. That somehow our body is dead on earth and then the soul is then in heaven acting like the body?
We personify god as some dude in the clouds above earth? He creates the universe and decides, forget about all that other stuff let’s watch over earth? I wonder if he has really good vision or maybe he has glasses or something.
I think the idea of death is simple, but we add emotion to it as well as ignorance and it becomes some big deal. All these funerals, prayers, and whatever else.
I think people really need to accept what death is, and find the reason, the purpose in their lives and live that purpose.
Mac
Mac´s last blog ..Part 2/3: Condition Yourself For Success.
Valerie – I absolutely loved this post. Like you, I often get overwhelmed when I think about losing a loved one. I know there’s no point in actively worrying about that because I can’t predict the future (and like you said, we are ALL going to die at some point), but it certainly does remind me to treat everyone – especially my family and loved ones – with compassion and love. And to be grateful for every day that I have with them.
Jenny Blake´s last blog ..The Master of Living
Hey Valerie:)
Pfft, girls and movies and crying. Hehe!
Very true though, they say only two things are certain in life, death and taxes. You only have one life so live it, accept that you can die at any time and that there is nothing that you can do about it, it will take care of itself
I’m excited for your very first video post! I think at some stage it would be really cool to make a video with introductions from a whole bunch of bloggers and get them saying “Hey Im Name from blog.com”
Have an awesome day!
Cheers
Diggy – Upgradereality.com´s last blog ..A Dog’s Purpose (from a 6-year-old).
@ Mac: Interesting, I’ve never heard of Bill Hicks (I guessed because he passed away so long ago). I like the way you put it: “Death doesn’t give life a purpose, it gives it value.” Very, very true. If we were immortal, then most of us would have less reason to ‘live life to the fullest.’ Oddly enough, we KNOW we’re mortal and we still don’t live life to the fullest. I can’t imagine what kind of hell would break loose if we actually were immortal.
By giving away power, we’re not only fooling ourselves (because we’re still responsible for whatever decision we make), but we’re effectively pissing our lives away because we’re giving permission to other people to decide what we get out of life. And we suffer the consequences for it. I don’t know if you’ve read Deschooling Society, but there’s a lot about giving up power. Here’s the link for the whole book if you haven’t read it:
http://www.davidtinapple.com/illich/1970_deschooling.html
The truth is “comfort” really isn’t. The people who strive for comfort and guarantees spend way too much time worrying about anything that threatens that comfort. And, guess what, everything is a threat to that comfort. Who’s comfortable now?
@ Jenny: Death can definitely serve as a reminder to live for today and show love for people, not something that totally consumes you and prevents you from doing just that. Thanks for stopping by. Glad to see you here!
@ Diggy: Don’t hate… Sentimentality has it’s perks
I’m nervous and excited about the video post, but I guess it’s high time I did it anyway. I have you and Glen to thank for giving me that little push. That would be a really interesting video by the way. Maybe something like you have a general question and each blogger answers it? Like asking a question on Twitter and then collecting the answers you get.
@ Val
I really like what you said about fooling ourselves when we give away our power. Because we look at it like a crime when these leaders screw things up. Just like corporations, they screw people over and show them the fine print. Insurance companies don’t exist because they help people they only help a certain amount of people in the criteria if they don’t they broke.
I sent you an email a few days ago was wondering if you got it. You wanted to “pick my brain” so just replied to that. Let me know.
Another good post
P.S. Check out my blog
Mac´s last blog ..Part 3/3: Shift into Success.
Interesting article.
I lost my cousin this year which I grew up together. I was a bit scared the first few hours but then I accepted it and learnt from it. I don’t know if there will be something after death. Nobody knows, even those who says they can see something can’t be sure.
Another interesting thing is that most people assume that there’s something *good* after death. Again, nobody knows.
Anyway, I’m not scared of death, it’s a natural state and nature will take care of it, but I also know that all what I have is now, and the rest is only an illusion, so I try to make the best of it.
Oscar – freestyle mind´s last blog ..Cloud Living Review
@ Oscar: Sorry about the loss of your cousin. I know that was a pretty shaky experience since he was close to you.
Definitely, nobody knows what happens after death and I am highly wary of anybody who claims they know. Of course, there’s enough to be said about faith, but even faith has doubt in it (or it wouldn’t exist). I feel that people who are so insistent on something having to happen after death that they are defendant of people who don’t agree are looking to overcompensate for something else.
I think we all have some kind of fear of death, by the way, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it in itself.
There’s no meaning unless we give meaning to it. Life is what we perceive, and we chose how we react to it. I agree with you Valerie, heaven is already around us, we just need to open our eyes and stop resisting life.
Life is but a dream; and we fear death because we don’t understand it. Let us enjoy life because we can never get back to this dimension of consciousness again. Death is just an evolution, we will all come to it, it’s a beginning to a higher level.
Valerie, this is a powerful, moving topic. I’ve lost many important people to me—first my great grandmother who lived to a ripe old age of 97, then my grandmother who lost a short fight with cancer, then two best friends both before the age of 22. And recently one of the wonderful little kids at an orphanage I’ve raised money for and spent time at here in Thailand lost a fight with something so trivial and (you would think, in the West) as preventable as a fever.
I’ve been thinking a lot about death and how short our time is here, and perhaps it’s a unique perspective as someone who doesn’t necessarily believe in a god or a heaven at all (although I admit I can never KNOW what there is beyond verifiable fact, I live my life these days as if LIFE, the here and the now that you can SEE, is all there is). One’s death is both a profound and a meaningless thing, in the eyes of the universe—in the grand scheme of things. I think it is some kind of a reprieve from the struggles of life, perhaps in the Buddhist sense of “nirvana” or nothingness. But you also don’t get to see the people you care about anymore, or make a difference in the world. That’s why all beings have an instinctual drive to cling to life, to their last breath. (I think we all have some inherent knowledge or at least fear that there is nothing more once they put us 6 feet under, so we fight to keep our lives.)
I think it’s important to strive to make the world a better place while you are here, at least for the people around you. There are many ways to strive to build a legacy, some may be selfish, but I think on the whole it’s important, and we all want to leave our mark in some way.
Cody McKibben´s last blog ..Clay Collins Shares Insight About Purpose & Building Your Freedom Business
@ Cody: Hello there, and welcome! Wow you’ve been through a lot, I’m sure that played a huge part in why you have so much focus and so many things accomplished (great bio you got there on your page!). I like how you said death is both profound and meaningless. Many people do know that when they die, this is IT, but it just saddens me how people kind of take life for granted even knowing that. And it’s a contagious attitude, too. I just hope I’m able to make the most of what I’ve got while I’m here although I do always wonder if I could be doing more. It makes me wonder when is enough enough? Is there a line between doing too much or too little to appreciate life?
You know, as some people never get clear about what they want in life, I don’t think people have a clear vision of heaven either. Don’t get me wrong, how can we, if we’ve never been. BUT, at the same time , just from envisioning it from what you hear, is it something that you would want? As you said, “incessantly sing and prance around some Supreme Being for all eternity.” Is that something we would really want? What else would it offer? I’m just saying
I don’t look for peace in another life.One of my main arguments against religion is that it makes people passive. I don’t think life is meant to come around twice. So whatever it is, we’ve got to do it now.