Who are you when you are nothing? (Thoughts on finding “purpose”)

• “Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
• “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.
• “I don’t much care where —” said Alice.
• “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said that Cat.
• “— so long as I get somewhere,” Alice added as an explanation.
• “Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.”

-         Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

At first glance, you could interpret this excerpt in two contradictory ways:

1. If you want to get somewhere important, you need to have a purpose in mind.
2. If you don’t have a purpose, then just go somewhere (or alternatively, do something) – you’ll eventually find one that’s important enough for you.

Currently I see both options advocated within the personal development field. Depending on your personality and your life circumstances, one option will appeal to you more than the other. There’s nothing wrong with either one if it works for you.

But how about a third, more controversial option: Do nothing, go nowhere and the goal will come to you. In other words, getting totally and completely lost within yourself.

Now I know this option sounds like bad news, as it goes against the current beliefs.

Usually the people who are thought of as “going nowhere” in life are “doing nothing.” And those who “do nothing,” “go nowhere.” When you think of these people, you think of addicts, criminals, and bums – basically, so-called drains on society. The thing is even these people actually are doing something. Maybe even stupid somethings. But it’s something.

That’s right. People who think they are doing nothing … really aren’t.

What I am talking about is doing nothing. Can you go by several days without watching TV, going on the computer, getting in your car to go anywhere, talking to anyone, reading anything, etc.? The only thing you would be allowed to do is things for basic survival: namely, eating and sleeping.

It is synonymous to being put in total isolation. It’s sort of like meditation – without the effort of trying to “focus.”

This is what losing yourself is.

Because think about it: “Yourself” is not just who you think you are. You are not really born with a concept of “yourself.” I wouldn’t even consider genes, because the impact of genes – while certainly present – are miniscule compared to the impact of your environment. Genes aside, “yourself” is primarily the sum of everything you do, everyone you interact with, everywhere you go – and how all of that influences and/or reinforces your thought process. You are what you do, where you go.

Remember: “Actions speaks volumes.” Or “actions speaks louder than words.”

I realize that many people have so many different responsibilities and pressures pulling at them from so many different directions. It is almost impossible to not do anything. It’s no wonder that many of us have a hard time figuring out what’s important to us, where we want to get to, and what our real purpose/goal is.

But if you could make the effort to do so, would you do it? Even if for a weekend? Aren’t you curious as to what you’d discover? What sort of things would go through your mind?

Then there’s the question of not finding out anything. But I’d counter with this: so what if you don’t find out something? Since when does doing nothing have a purpose? It’s nothing! You don’t go into nothing expecting something. You do it just because.

The irony of all of this is “nothing” can’t exist without “something” – much like antimatter doesn’t exist without matter. To expand on that further: when you expect something from nothing, you get nothing. When you expect nothing from nothing, you get something.

I am not sure if I’m making sense. But I’ll boil it down to one major point:

We’re always supposed to be doing something. We are judged by that something. The pressure is constant. Whether it’s going to school or building a career or panhandling on the street. Furthermore, we’re always expecting something, so we always have to do something. But a lot of times we get nothing – or something far less that we wanted. Sometimes we get more than we expect.

But how come we never truly “expect nothing?” How come we never do nothing? Why do we never expect nothing from nothing?

Is it because we’re scared of getting nothing? Is it because we’re scared we might get something from expecting nothing? Are we scared of what that something is?  Are we scared of who we are when we are “nothing?” Are we anyone at all?

Are we scared of “nothing?”

Related posts:

1. Finding the courage to start telling better lies. And acting on it.
2. Knowing who you are and why you’re here (and why I have Jeremy to thank)
3. How do you face your fear of change?
4. Finding positive, fulfilling friendships and relationships is NOT rocket science
5. Thoughts on happy marriages and romantic relationships

Tagged as: personal growth, purpose