Comments on: Why comparison can (sometimes) be a good thing

By: Knowing who you are and why you’re here (and why I have Jeremy to thank) | InsightFULL Blog

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 11:12:21 +0000

[...] much like I’ve pointed out in my comparison post, all of that only inspires me to be a better person and really work to achieve my [...]

By: Richard Riley

Richard Riley — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 13:43:05 +0000

Hey! Thanks for the kudos on the site design. I still have quite a bit of work to do to get it to where I want….but its getting there : )

Yes, it does seem that everybody has a varying degree of introvertedness (is that a word? maybe introversion is better…) and extroversion, depending on if they’re with old friends or people they’ve just met and are not comfortable around.
Richard Riley´s last blog ..Interview with Regan from The Nu Nu Project

By: Valerie M

Valerie M — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 00:04:48 +0000

@ Richard: I see your site is coming along nicely! Looking very spiffy so far — clean cut and no drama!
I also use the outgoing example myself to improve myself. Actually, if I’m totally honest, I fluctuate between beating myself over it and getting inspired to be better. I’ve always had a rocky, love-hate relationship with my being an introvert. But I’m getting much better at accepting it. The truth is a lot of so called social people might actually consider themselves introverts, and like you said, may actually admire the “true” introvert for their ability to avoid drama and enjoy “me time.” So in a way, everybody seems to have a little bit of everything in varying amounts and in different situations. Thanks for your comment though, I enjoyed reading and I could definitely relate.

@ Jarrod: Hey there! You flatter me. And yep, I agree … unless you have the emotional and spiritual strength of 10,000 Buddhas and Jesus’s (Jesuses?) – which most of us don’t … it’s literally impossible to avoid comparing yourself to others at all or even feeling a little envy. And no worries, I’m having to remind myself all the time. We’re on the same boat!

PS: I’m cool with Val, most people who know me well call me that by default. I actually used to hate it, but I got used to it and actually like it now!

By: Jarrod@ Optimistic Journey

Jarrod@ Optimistic Journey — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 22:59:29 +0000

Valerie, Wow… Two Thumbs Up!!! If I had more thumbs I’d give you more thumbs up. I love reading your post because you have some of the most interesting concepts. I agree we all, deep down inside compare ourselves to one another. When you’re at a red light and you see a shiny, beautiful, 2011 BMW pull up next to you when you know that, that’s what you’re working hard to get (or whatever your dream is) … you can’t help but have a little envy.

But you’ve clearly reminded me that it’s completely healthy to compare as long as it’s done in the right way. Thank you so much Valerie for sharing such a rich, compelling and thought provoking post.

You Rock!!!

PS: I’m gonna start calling you ‘Val’ now cause I feel like a know you!!
Jarrod@ Optimistic Journey´s last blog ..You Know You’re Favored by God When…

By: Richard Riley

Richard Riley — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 17:11:40 +0000

Ah! I forgot to say something. Comparing yourself to others in your field or who are successfull and whom you may want to emulate can really get you inspired! With my own entrepreneurial endeavor there have been days where I haven’t been motivated at all. Then I read a blog post about someone younger than I am or someone who may have had a tough life become extremely successful and location independent and it gives me the motivation and energy necessary to move me in that direction. Comparison can, ultimately, be very damning or very inspiring. It just matters on your perspective and which lens you choose to view it through.
Richard Riley´s last blog ..Interview with Regan from The Nu Nu Project

By: Richard Riley

Richard Riley — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 17:06:57 +0000

I would definitely agree with this. I think comparing yourself to someone you respect and admire is a great way to see what seperates your behavior from theirs and thus allows you to change that aspect of yourself. For instance, when I compare myself to a friend of mine I can see that he is much more outgoing than I am. I also notice that he is good at small talk and is able to easily and comfortably speak with anyone. I do not have these qualities. In fact, I am quite jealous of his ability to speak with anyone. However, by comparing myself to him I’ve discovered something I don’t like about myself. I can mimic his behaviors if I choose and then slowly – and with practice – do what he does until the day I become less socially awkward. Ha! That sounded kind of bad – I’m not that socially backwards, just an introvert – but you get the idea.

However, if you dwell on comparisons and beat yourself up for not being good enough or not being similar to someone then it can become a serious issue. Like you said, treat comparison as a tool to better your life so that you might improve. Don’t use comparison to beat yourself up. Everyone’s different and you never know, the person you compare yourself to for one trait, might compare himself or herself to a trait you’re better at. It’s a two way street.
Richard Riley´s last blog ..Interview with Regan from The Nu Nu Project

By: Valerie M

Valerie M — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 15:25:07 +0000

@ JR: Hello, there! Nice to see you on here. Yep, your comment is exactly what I was getting at. The problem is, of course, we often get caught up in thinking whatever other people do or get is exactly what we’re supposed to be experiencing or doing. Definitely not the case at all.

@ Samantha: Welcome! And that is an excellent point you brought up. We’re so busy putting other people on a pedestal and yet we’re our own worse critics. In essence we treat and perceive other people better than ourselves and that’s where comparison gets dangerous. I so need to remember that myself.

By: Samantha

Samantha — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 13:48:23 +0000

I’m very prone to bouts of comparing myself negatively with others. Sometimes I feel frustrated with myself and think I haven’t achieved enough. But recently I’ve discovered that many people I know, actually hold my achievements and skills in high regard. This goes to show that your self-perception can often be inaccurate. Good insightful article, thanks.
Samantha´s last blog ..Polyglot (Wannabe)

By: JR Moreau

JR Moreau — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 07:14:57 +0000

This is an interesting post Valerie. I feel like there’s a lot to be learned from other people, however, the world around me is constantly being taken in by my senses and indexed by my brain only so I can re-purpose it for myself. The final product of something I’m trying to do doesn’t always really have to measure up to what other people have, but rather it is supposed to add up to the impression that I thought I’d get from gaining whatever it is I wanted.
JR Moreau´s last blog ..Lateral, Exponential and Co-Symmetrical Personal Growth

By: Valerie M

Valerie M — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 01:32:03 +0000

@ Jeremy: Thanks for your comment, I definitely try my best! You’re right … it does need to be a healthy balance between comparison and creativity.