Increasingly I have been hearing a lot of squealing and whining about “rights”. At this point and time, anyone can claim to have a right to anything at all. Where does it end?
To be frank, it is getting tired. All of these entitlements and proclamations about ‘rights’ – while well-intended and necessary at times – is going to end up shooting us all in the foot. Why? Because an inflated sense of entitlement and ownership of ‘rights’ removes personal responsibility to prove oneself worthy of those rights.
That’s right, I said it – one needs to prove themselves worthy of their rights.
Yes, this is America, but…
One of the most common sayings I hear in this country is some variation of this: “So what? This is America. I don’t have to listen to you – I have a right to X.”
Is it wrong to say this? Of course not. It’s no secret that our forefathers wanted us to have basic rights: the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. But more than that, I believe the U.S. was founded on the freedom to build oneself through their merits and accomplishments. When you remove personal responsibility from the equation, anyone can twist the words of the Declaration of Independence to suit their own needs.
In other words, those who fight for their rights and those who feel entitled to them have different definitions of these rights. In that sense, the meaning of life is relative; the meaning of liberty is relative; and the meaning of pursuit of happiness is relative. This is where I feel we have lost our way.
The colonists believed they had certain fundamental rights, yes. But they fought tooth and nail to earn those rights. That’s what happens when you believe something: you have to work for it – it won’t fall on your lap just because you think it should be so. And just like many things, rights are beliefs, not absolutes.
Right now, many of us are living on the blood and sweat of those colonists – which can run out at any time.
Back to the colonists: some of them were being persecuted in their home lands – but instead of taking the “easy” way out and whining, they packed their stuff up and left. When the King started imposing control over them in the colonies, they stood up for their values and fought the Britons out. They and their descendents busted their butts to build the U.S. to what it is today. If many of them had an entitlement attitude – with nothing to back it up – the U.S. as it is now would cease to exist.
The current mentality of people deserving stuff just because they are alive is not sustainable. When you give away responsibility to others – when you allow others to make decisions for you – you lose your “rights,” because your “rights” are dependent on the whims of those making the decisions for you.
If you are living a comfortable life through no effort of your own, that’s fine. Just understand that you are doing it at the mercy of others who allow you to do so. Perhaps even at the mercy of those who HAVE earned THEIR rights. At any moment, that “mercy” and “patience” that many take for granted could run real thin … and then what? Do you think any of your demands for your “rights” will help you?
Of course, many people may not think they are comfortable – but they are far more comfortable than the millions of people around the world living on less than $1 a day and living in failed states with zero concept of justice.
A solution
I am not going to suggest that you should be happy with the way things are and just let things slide. If you want to do that, then you deserve everything you get. If you are not happy with something you can whine about it – which will bring you back to square one – or you can do something about it – by proving your value.
As long as you are not doing anything to contribute to the community and help uplift others, rather than bring them down by burdening them, you become less credible and less people are inclined to listen to you. Why should they?
The hard truth is people – even your own leaders - don’t care about your troubles. They don’t care if you are poor. They don’t care if you don’t have health insurance. They don’t care if you don’t have a job. The reason is because they are more concerned about their problems. The only reason why someone might appear to care about your problem is because doing so helps them solve their problem. Point blank.
I don’t mean this in a discouraging way – if you’re reading this, you probably care more about your own problems before you care about the problems of others. I’m the same way. We’re all a selfish bunch of people, even the self-proclaimed altruist. And altruists are fulfilling their own needs in some way. It doesn’t make them better or worse than the next person.
I don’t believe selfish is wrong – I believe it is necessary – as long as people are exchanging solutions for solutions. Not solutions for nothing.
But why try to change human nature? Why try to guilt people into being less selfish? Forcing people to care is an uphill battle. Instead, why not work with the current? How do you do that? Again, by quitting the complaints and by proving your value.
You want an amazing career? Prove to people how you can help them improve their business. Who wants to hire an entitled bunch of employees who will never be happy with anything while contributing the bare minimum? I don’t.
You want a successful business? Prove to people how you can make their lives easier. Who wants to buy from anyone who is only concerned with how much they can get out of people? I don’t.
You want a significant other who is worth your time? Then prove to them how you are worth their time. Do you want to live with someone who believes they are perfect while they are never happy with who you are? I don’t.
You want health “insurance”? Take charge of your own health first and plan ahead for future, inevitable problems. Do you want to help someone who never takes care of themselves until the last possible moment, if at all – when you do your best to live healthy? I don’t.
You want “rights”? Take responsibility for your life and your actions – never sign over to that responsibility to others – and you’ll never owe them a thing. When you don’t owe anyone anything, it’s much easier to pack your stuff and leave. That’s where “rights” come from – when you don’t have to put up with anyone’s crap!
How do you know you don’t have to put up with anyone’s crap? You know it when you are so valuable to others – when you are able to solve their problems – that people are breaking their necks to keep you around. When you have that kind of stake on your own life, you can leave an abusive and unacceptable situation, knowing that someone is willing to help you solve your problem in exchange for you solving theirs!
None of us are perfect – but we don’t have to be
After all is said and done, I want you to know that I’m not saying this because I feel that I am above others. Personally, I’ve yet to “earn” all of my “rights.” Here is what I mean:
1) I don’t believe I’ve earned the right to life. Sure I’m alive, I’m existing. But existing is a waste of life. It is not living – and living takes courage. The government claims I have that right, but it can’t give it to me. I believe that living means the courage to be the best person I can be to myself and to others. It means the courage to live my life in a way that is beneficial to others – giving back to the force that gave me life. It means the willpower to take care of my body so others don’t have to and so I am healthy enough to do all of the above. I believe I can live the life I am looking for – by having the courage to live and not simply exist. But until then, I will succumb to fear and my own self-imposed limitations. And it’s okay. It’s temporary as long as I’m working towards my belief.
2) I don’t believe I’ve earned the right to liberty. The government claims I have the right as well, but it can take it away. The truth is, it’s not the government’s to give or take. I haven’t produced enough value so that people are breaking their necks to keeping me around. I am just a recent graduate trying to figure out how I can be most useful. I can’t just take off and do everything I want yet. But I don’t have to stay there. I believe I can have liberty and that I can work towards it – by building financial independence through helping others with their problems. Until then, I’ll have to stay in a job I don’t like or I’ll have to live paycheck to paycheck. And it’s okay. It’s temporary as long as I’m working towards my belief.
3) I don’t believe I’ve earned the right to happiness. Yes, I believe happiness is earned – it doesn’t fall on your lap and you can’t buy it. I believe happiness is about mental clarity and peace – it’s not about how much money you have, what you own, who you know, and what others think about you. I believe I can have happiness and that I can work towards it – by taking the time to understand what matters and focusing on that every day, rather than letting everything else get in my way. Until then, I’ll let other people’s opinions get in my way and I’ll let money dictate where I should be going and what I should be doing. And it’s okay. It’s temporary as long as I’m working towards my belief.
THE GOOD NEWS: We can have “rights” – but only if we define it and then earn it. Only if we take responsibility for it. I believe it can be done and that the world can be a better place as a result. Do you?
How do you define the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? How are you earning those rights? Are you striving to be a person that others break their necks to be around?
Related posts:
- Stop trying to be like Buddha and give up some self-control, already
- My take on Haiti and what you can learn from Haiti’s troubles
- Thoughts on happy marriages and romantic relationships
- Happiness and linear thinking is a difficult combination
- You are a citizen of the world (and why I don’t hate America… and why you shouldn’t either)
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
George Carlin talked about this. You don’t have rights, because if someone can take away your rights, then it’s just a privileges.
I don’t think it’s about earning, as much as it is to make a choice to actually want it; a self determined choice not influenced by anyone.
Rights are made up, they are not real, there are no rules in nature.
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I agree with you that rights should be earned.
The Declaration of Independence didn’t really say that we should have the right to happiness, but rather, the pursuit of happiness. You still have to pursue it, so in a way, the concept of earned right is already built into it in a way.
But ultimately, those who wrote this document are selfish too. They want life and liberty so they put it in there. It does help us today but ultimately it’s their own wish list.
Valerie M: Hi Kelvin! That’s true that those who wrote the documents also had their own needs and desires in mind. They just happened to do something about it.
Kelvin Kao´s last blog ..A Little of Everything