That’s right, I said it. It’s time for people to step up and take personal responsibility for their thoughts and actions. It’s been hashed and rehashed in countless personal development books, blogs, and seminars. But we all need to hear it one more time, because judging from the herd mentality that is still prevalent today it just can’t be said and heard enough.
Steve Pavlina said it best: “If you refuse to make a choice, it’s still a choice you made and you’re still going to have to suffer the consequences.”
Whether you suffer or not in the long run is YOUR decision
If you’re going to suffer the consequences whether you act on something or not, why not act on it so at least you have some degree of control over what happens to you? Why in your right mind would you stand in the sidelines, take abuse, and simply complain?
It’s extremely infuriating to me when I see people complain and do absolutely nothing about it. It’s not that I don’t have sympathy for people. I’ve been there. I’ve used every excuse under the sun, from my hearing loss to the fact that I’m broke and my job sucks to my living in Florida (a place I’m not particularly fond of, but that’s another story). Oh, I had plenty of reasons why I wasn’t being the best person I could be.
And guess what? For all that energy I was using to defend my excuses, my life still sucked. In a major way. You get back what you put into it.
Make the decision to take responsibility and your world will open up
Even today I still catch myself making excuses and complaining. Because I’m not perfect and I don’t expect to be! The only difference between Valerie today and Valerie of Christmas Past is that now I am consciously making actions to improve my circumstances. I’m actively deciding that I’m going to be happy today and with whatever happens to me tomorrow because I’m doing everything I can today.
Oddly enough, once I decided to do that, all those other “barriers” I thought I had seemed to matter less and less. Why? Because those “barriers” are more mental than anything else.
Suffering isn’t completely avoidable, but you can catch it in it’s tracks
It isn’t always peachy up in here. I frequently get discouraged. Predictions of doom and gloom cross my mind on a fairly regular basis. And I still throw major pity parties every couple of weeks.
When the crap hits the fan or if I find myself acting or thinking stupidly, you know what I do? I literally sit down and start having a full discussion with myself out loud: “Valerie, why the hell are you acting up?!” Let me tell you: don’t be afraid to give yourself pep talks out loud. It works wonders, people. I’m SO serious.
Don’t let things get to you. It’s so dangerously easy to get caught up with little things that don’t matter. In fact it’s the little things that eventually trip people up, even successful people. No matter what other people want you to think, you do have a choice. You can be more aware, own your life and everything that gets thrown at you, good and bad. Or you can let someone else own your life, who will then direct all the crap your way.
Seriously, just stop pointing fingers at everyone and everything else
Whatever you choose, it’s still your responsibility and you’ve got nowhere to point fingers but at yourself. Not the incompetent government, not the greedy corporations, not the almighty Flying Spaghetti in the sky, not your racist neighbors, not your traditionalist parents, and no, not even the dog that ate your homework. No matter what anyone tells you or what you want to believe, you and only you are responsible for the outcome. The hardest part is to understand that one fact.
On a side note, if I see another person complain about the health care system and they walk in with a) a late-model gas guzzler that they got with Cash for Clunkers, b) $20,000 credit card debt for crap they don’t need c) a Big Mac and a 20-ounce cup of ‘Diet’ Soda in their hands, or d) any combo of the three … please (don’t) stop me because I swear I’ll (comment deleted).
Any comments? Share your experiences!
Speak up! What little things still get in your way today? What are you doing today to take more responsibility in your life? How is that working for you? Drop a comment because there’s plenty of people out there who need to see it. We all need encouragement to go down the road less traveled.
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Related posts:
- Get rid of dead weight: Channel frustration into creative ideas into action
- The (slightly) evil person’s guide to being annoyingly laid-back (and reducing stress while you’re at it)
- If you don't have a solution, don't bother complaining.
- Life’s a beach, don’t ass.u.me otherwise (and why the world doesn’t revolve around you)
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Think what get's in most folks way is a distinct lack of money, this leads us to a general disatisfaction with our lot!
I mean, guess who said ” money doesn't matter” right, the one whoa has plenty of it. On the other hand, when we have plenty of money we tend to live up to every penny, no thought for security or long term living.
If your worried from where is the next meal coming from or how to meet a relentless stream of bills then, yes, you will start to point the finger in some direction however, it is an attitude of mind and we have control or should have control over our own minds.
My own view is this: Provided I didn't hurt anyone then, stop worrying and try to change your life, go for it!
Misty X
Hey Valerie, really nice post, and congratulations for your new blog! I really like the design.
I hear you valerie. Excuses give us false impression that it's ok not to work on improving our life. And maybe, just maybe, we are right. Maybe it is ok not to do anything to improve ourselves, provided we are happy with where we're currently at.
But is it true though? Or was it yet another lie just so we can continue procrastinating with our life? That is the question I think we all have to ask ourselves.
Welcome, Misty! Thanks for your comment and encouragement.
I'd like to expand on your comment. Not having money is something that can be felt on so many different levels and I can empathize with the physical suffering/worrying that comes with it. But like you said, the lack of money is more of a mental barrier than anything else. If you don't have money and you continue to point your fingers at someone or something else, guess what? You're still going to be broke! At that point, whose problem does it become? You're still the one getting all the suffering, not the other people.
So yes, it is all about changing your attitude. No one ever said that was easy, but being broke isn't easy either.
Hi Oscar. Thanks for dropping by!
I'm glad you like it … I was beginning to give up hope.
You bring up a great point, Karlil. I think there needs to be a balance between being satisfied with who we are and constantly pushing ourselves to do more, more, more all the time. In order to do that, we do need to sit down and ask ourselves what's the point and where we're trying to go.